do you have a prior commitment?
- Chessie Mills-Smith

- Apr 7, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 11
One thing I’ve been terrible at throughout my career is setting boundaries.
That sounds bad. Like I’ve been stealing Post-Its from my colleagues’ desks, or sniffing their bike seats.
What I meant to say is that I’m terrible at setting boundaries in terms of how much work I’ll take on or complete.
I’ll do everything.
I’ll take work home to finish. I’ll come in early to make sure that rooms are set up and stay late just in case they need me to minute an extra agenda item. I’ll go through a set of German translations for the new website launch to make sure they’re correct. I’ll sit on the floor and guillotine together building plans for last-minute snagging meetings.
Heck, I’ll spend three weeks sourcing items from an increasingly deranged list of office decorations that begin with the letters ‘D’ and ‘H’ (long story).
This was a great attitude to have during COVID-19 when every day was different and we kept having to reschedule clinics. But when there isn’t a global pandemic happening, I think it just comes off as being a bit keen.
We’re three weeks (good grief) away from Pea’s due date.
All the Anglo parenting advice I’ve seen so far says that it’s important to set boundaries and to make sure that people don’t just visit when it’s convenient for them. There are articles online about letting the mess happen and to focus on making sure that you’re all fed and alive at the end of the day. My FYP is full of influencers telling me it’s fine to wear pyjamas all the time and to eat pasta for three days straight.
Don’t get me wrong - I love pyjamas and pasta.
But English parenting advice seems to paint parenting as being a new kind of hell, with terms like ‘newborn trenches’ and *shudder* ‘poonami’ being thrown around.
There’s a different approach in France. It seems to be ‘with the baby’, not ‘in spite of the baby’.
French parenting advice is pretty much ‘do what you usually do, but take the baby with you’. There isn’t the same idea of letting everything disintegrate as soon as they arrive and then picking things up again when baby can sit up by themselves. It’s more about a shift in mindset. As one article put it:
It’s better to simply accept the idea that your house will never be as tidy as before.
Ah, serenity. Calm acceptance. It’s giving pre-breakfast yoga vibes.
It’s so not me.
I’m the same at home as at work.
I do everything.
I dust the skirting boards every week. I restock our bathroom. I keep homemade pie crusts and fillings in the freezer in case we have surprise guests. Heck, I’m nine months pregnant and still making sure we have an ironed duvet cover ready for Fridays.
There’s got to be some kind of balance between what-do-you-mean-sit-down and all-my-knickers-are-on-the-floor.
Right?
highlights
If you’re also expecting a little one in the next few months, or you know someone who is, it’s B&M’s Baby event at the moment. You can never have too many muslins, and these ones are giving perfect spring vibes.
Food Network has started showing Delicious Miss Brown, which is perfect for after my Michel Roux Jr fix. Her cooking is influenced by her Gullah heritage, and every episode is packed with titbits about some of the lesser-known influences and history of South Carolina. We’ll be making one of her rice casseroles tonight - it’s the real stick-to-your-ribs kind of cooking that I love.
Dan’s homesick for working in kitchens, and I’m tired of not being able to walk up an incline without stopping. Our new Nintendo Switch has managed to provide temporary relief for both of us - he’s swearing at Chef Life: A Restaurant Simulator, and I’m running around the hills of Pokemon Violet. We’ve also got Katamari Damacy to play together, but I feel like I’m rolling everywhere as it is.
I’ve mentioned Home Manchester before. We ended up back there again on date night, and the nan gua bing are just as good as last time.




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